


Drunk Flash

by JQ (musicmillennia)



Series: Coldflash tumblr prompts [5]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Actual Garbage, Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, Ficlet, M/M, Secret Relationship, Seranading, What have you done Dr. Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5315237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/JQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of connected one-shots for the "drunk Flash" prompt on my tumblr :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunk Flash

**Author's Note:**

> Caitlin finally succeeded at getting the Flash drunk. Looking at what she has created now, she doesn’t know whether to congratulate herself or not.
> 
>  
> 
> [highlysocialingfuntiopath asked: Okay, so we like, know Barry can sing right? What if he serenaded Len in front of the rouges? With a punny song about cold or something?]

Caitlin finally succeeded at getting the Flash drunk. Looking at what she has created now, she doesn’t know whether to congratulate herself or not.

“Oh man,” says Cisco, checking his phone. He synced it to STAR Labs’ alert system months back. “Rogues attack.”

Because, of course, as soon as Barry’s completely wasted, the Rogues decide they want to rob a museum.

Seeing the concerned faces of his friends, Barry leans heavily on Caitlin’s shoulder and slurs, “Whaaaaat?”

“Um, nothing bro—” Cisco tries, but Barry’s already snatched the phone. Seems like his superspeed isn’t hindered by alcohol. Something for Caitlin to note later.

Once he sees the museum’s security footage, he flails, stumbling from his stool. “Rogues!” he shouts, “Gotta go—don’ worry, I’ll—stop ‘em!”

“Barry, maybe that’s not such a good idea!” says Caitlin. Too bad Barry’s already gone.

“Oh great,” Cisco says, “Come on, we have to do something.”

“Like what?” demands Caitlin as they rush out to the car.

“I don’t know!  _Something_!”

* * *

The Flash is late. Better than never coming at all, though.

Thing is…something’s off. Len notices is almost immediately. Flash stumbles, more so than his usual flailing, and when he speaks, it’s—

“Well, well, well,” Cold smirks, “the Flash is  _drunk_? Heroes these days.”

Wait a minute.

_The Flash is drunk._

Oh no—

“ _Len_!”

Oh  _no_.

Suddenly, Len finds himself with an armful of overexcited drunk nerd.

“Lenny-Len-Lenny-Len-Len!” Barry crows, snuggling into his shoulder. “Why’d’yah have t’rob somethin’ tuh-night? We coulda been at home! We could been havin’ _sex_ or somethin’!”

Fuck.

The noise that spurts out of Lisa’s mouth is something like—Len can’t even describe it. Mick, though, he’s definitely saying “ _What_?”

But Barry, he doesn’t hear. Of  _course_ he doesn’t hear. Why? Because he is drunk off his leather-clad  _ass_ and telling  _everyone_ who will listen that he and Captain Cold are in a relationship—and now he’s singing Foreigner, because apparently Len is just the worst boyfriend ever for not staying home tonight and going down on the Flash.

Great.

Mick’s red in the face from laughing. Len’s pretty sure Lisa’s going to fall over with the precarious way she’s leaning on the van. The only bright side about this situation is they got what they came for.

At last, Len’s able to get the Flash off him and punch him hard in the face.

“You better stay down,” he growls under his breath. He leaves without a single pun.


End file.
